Polyamory-Related Books

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Polysexuality, Swinging, and Group Sex



While polyamory is about something quite different than polysexuality, the dividing line can be quite thin....

 
 
COLUMN 1

Threesome: How to Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy

Lori E. Gammon
with Bill Strong
Triad Press


Threesome is a book directly aimed at themarket of people who would like to have a successful sexual threesome. The book does not cover same-sex triads and pays only light attention to threesomes involving two men.

I found some parts of this book difficult to read comfortably--some of the termonology and phrasing seemed off-putting to me.In the description of the a threesome involving two men and a woman, the authors appear to describe the woman as "submitting" herself to the multiple males. Women are described as not having todo more to have sex than to let men know that they are available.

On the other hand, for people seeking that particular arrangement a lot of the advice seems intelligent and time-tested, including sections on private communications, strategies for personal ads, and sane advice for approaching people when you aren't sure of the lay of the land.

An anonymous reader rates this book a 7 (Very Good) and says:

For those who have struggled with actually putting together athreesome, and not just talking about it, Threesomes: How to Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy, is a welcome guidebook. Written from the (alleged) perspective of a woman seeking a same-sex partner in addition to a male partner, it has an ususual flavor.

The book is a how-to on arranging a threesome. It doesn't deal with the nettling questions of long-term polyamorous relationships, but that's not really its purpose. Occasionally, the book feels ghost-written by the mysterious Mr. Strong. The original review on Polychromatic picks up on this odd shift in perspective. But overall, the presentation is direct, personable, and comfortable.

Threesomes aren't for everyone. My occasional forays in this direction have been mixed, to say the least, but always educational and frequently memorable. Several of my best women friends I met through threesomes; a couple former partners I count among my closest confidantes. The book offered me insights to their experience that I sensed but did not fully appreciate earlier. My current partner says that Threesomes is "raunchy"--she'd like more discussion of romance and courting--butI disagree: it's honest. The fact that we're playing out chapters inour own lives is testimony to Threesome's veracity. Perhaps someone who's tried out all of Threesomes's instructions will write a more intimate, heartfelt companion volume.

Threesomes is inexpensive and available via Amazon.com. It's a fun read as well as informative. Whether one chooses to put its lessons to the test is a personal matter and a decision that can't be taken lightly...but given the dearth of books that honestly address the possibilities of multiple partnering of any variety, Threesomes is a happy discovery, a literary oasis in a desert of convention.

sher rates this book a 10 (Best Book of its Kind) and says:
I'm going to buy this book. I've been with my husband for nine years.I love him very much. I've been thinking about this for months. I need a good way to make this come true.

Shadowgirl rates this book a 10 (Best Book of its Kind) and says:
I used the advice I read from the book and I have gotten a 90% increase of response with my ads and in person. I used the eye contact information (I am usually shy) last night and the beautiful woman was obviously attracted to me because I did not turn my eyes from hers. The book has given me a learned confidence that I will use and have fun using for a long time.


confused rates this book a 4 (Flawed) and says:
This book will only work if the woman is already curious about a threesome... being a male, having courted dozens of women and used every approach this book offers has landed me absolutely nowhere.... and the reason is that the central philosophy of this book is flawed... the author says that for a man to initiate the conversation he has to first make sure his female partner feels absolutely secure in his love for her... WRONG... once a woman loves you, then no matter what you do that this book advocates, she is NOT going to want to share you with another woman, and especially not as she herself watches you making love to this other woman... you can use all the NICE words the author offers, like SHARE, LOVE, blah, blah, blah... but it's totally pointless... incidentally, the one time i did have my threesome, was because both girls could care less about me, didn't keep in touch afterwards and we were totally drunk at a party... save your money


mo rates this book a 4 (Flawed) and says:
to be honest with you i think the ideas in this book are about as unrealistic as the fantasy itself.... every woman i've talked to whose done this did it when her and her girlfriend were partying, got drunk and screwed a guy just because they didn't care about him... once love is involved than no matter what the man does, the woman will never feel comfortable enough to do an fmf... i've gone as far as arranging an mfm for my girlfriend and she loved it but was too jealous and insecure to indulge me in the least... i am convinced the only way this happens is when three people get drunk, and the two girls could care less about the guy and may never see him.... the only women who've shown interest to me to do this openly after discussing it were women who were so incredibly unattractive and flat out morbidly obese that i'd rather leave this as a fantasy.... good looking girls would do things on the spur of the moment in situations where they don't have to accept responsiblity for their actions (ie. being drunk) and then never having talked about it because once a guy opens his mouth about this he shoots himself in the foot because now the woman is in a position where she can think about it before hand and invariably says no way to the idea.... this is all a total fiction of someones imagination, unless you are willing to completely drop your standards and do this with women you'd never be attracted to in any capacity.... otherwise forget it guys.... save your money....


Kitty rates this book a 6 (Good) and says:
review: I think you all are totally wrong, I have been married for 6 years and love my husband more than anything. We had a FMF and I did not have any problems at all with it or watching him with another woman. I totally trust him and my friend. I know that he loves me and she is a loyal friend. Since we are all in agreement (this was not pre-planned) it worked out just fine. In fact it has brought me and my husband closer than we have ever been in years. It truly is a sharing experience. But there is no room for jealousy or insecurity-that will surely destroy things. You must make sure you love each other in entirety before making this kind of decision.

Lloyd rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
Any book written about the Threesome relationship scores a ten. I believe this because it is becoming a very much sought out fantasy, way of life , and maritial aide. Me and my wife have been married for 23 years and we have been having the MFM threesomes for 15 years. We have a very strong love and and even a stronger and happier marriage than most couples have. This is something that we do all the time, but needless to say have had many over a 15 year period. It is not for everyone, and as for us there is no jealouly. We are both very straight, so we have never had any bi sexual practices. We don't drink, or do drugs, so none of our threesome encounters was a result of a party scene. It fact we talked, pondered, and even prayed about it. We believe that if there was more open threesome MFM relationships, as an acceptable way of life, that marriages would be stronger, and that there would be far less divorces. In a MFM relationship, you have two males that could be ! the wage earners, while leaving the female to be a total homemaker, if that is what she desired, there would be a lot less financial woes and you would see far less single mothers and children on the welfare roles. All you have to do is get online to sites like Adultfriendfinders or similar ones, and you'll see that there is a few hundred thousand men and women who are dissatisfied in just a m/f relationship and are seeking out couples for more fulfillment. It's not always just about the sex. Sex is just a benefit, for the threesome relationship that is seeking more out of life, than the routine life of a traditional marriage or relationship has to offer. We've had several friends and relatives go through a divorce where one of the couple left their spouse or partner for another person. Out of all of them, I wander how many of them ever took the time to think and give consideration, that they may have shared their desire of another person in their life with their spouse or ! partner, and had a better relationship and a happier life. Like I said it's not for everyone, but it is obvious that most people in the world isn't happy with what is suppose to be the normal one man one woman relationship,the population of the world is made up of people who desire or seeking out an alternative life style when it comes to sex and relationships. Just simply saying try it, you'll like it isn't enough. Weigh out all of the pro's, con's and consequences. For us, we discovered it was one of the most natural acts that men and women can share and experience. Just choose a partner carefully!!

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The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

Dossie Easton
Catherine A. Liszt
Greenery Press


As you have probably guessed from the title, Easton and Liszt do not shy away from saying what they want. And in the world of polyamory, that skill is invaluable.

The authors cover a large number of topics involved in having multiple sexual relationships, looking at everything from STDs and dealing with the societal pressures against polysexuality to negotiation and relationship skills.

One of the many strengths of this book for many readers is its very direct, step-by-step explanations of (for example) negotiating types of sexual behavior. There's also some very interesting material about jealousy, insecurity, and some interesting thoughts about where those feelings come from.

Another strength of this book is the direct, friendly tone of the authors. They make this book a great deal of fun to read.

Kristin Bowman (Lilyplume @ hotmail.com rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
This book is the most informative, thorough, well-written book I have found on the subject of polyamory and sluthood. Personally, it has helped me understand my own sexual desires and actions. It also helps its reader decide exactly what kind of lifestyle fits them, and how they can go about satisfying their needs in the most respectful and caring way. I recommend it to anyone, Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Asexual. This book is lifechanging. Read it!!!

Tania rates this book a 9 (Truly Delightful) and says:
I was thrilled to finally find a book on the subject of polyamory. It was the first sign of hope I found for us. I can only say that I wept with joy to find out we were not alone.

It could be used as a textbook for the polyamorous--as a matter of fact I used a highliter to mark the parts I thought were the most relevent to my situation.

Liz rates this book a 9 (Truly Delightful) and says:
As a good friend of mine put it, this book should be "required reading for being alive." Even if you are behaviorally monogamous you will learn something about managing your emotions and being a good partner for one or as many as you desire.

Bill rates this book a 7 (Very Good) and says:
A very interesting and well-written book. Contains a lot of useful tips for having a polysexual relationship. However I felt there wasn't enough coverage of the emotional/romantic aspect of polyamory.

Lilith rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
This book has so many good points, it's impossible to list them all! The non-judgemental attitude, practical tips, personal experiences, comprehensive subject coverage, and friendly tone of the authors are the best parts. If you can only purchase one book about polyamory, it should be this one!

janedoe (janeuser613 @ hotmail.com rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
The Ethical Slut is one of the best books i have read in a long time. It's a great reminder that we are all human, and we can all enjoy each other as long as we respect each other. Many thumbs up!

His Little Flower rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
I Really enjoyed the book because it gave me some insight on just how far your partner will go, to continue his hidden lifestyle, and try and keep me happy at the same time. Only a Selfish person would lead him to believe that it could work this way.

Cheryl A. Cross rates this book a 10 (Best Book Available on the Subject) and says:
As a sexuality educator/counselor and therapist I have had the pleasure of working with many individuals and couples who are moving into or curious about responsible non-monogomy. This is the first book I reference whenever the occasion comes up. Writing and life partners, Easton and Liszt have combined their own polyfidelity experiences together with a friendly writing style that anyone can understand. This honest portrayal and "guide" to Polyamory is essential to those considering, entering into or engaging into any type of sexual and or emotional relationships involving two or more people. A++


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