Ryam Nearing's book has always been, in my
mind, the definitive introduction to polyfi relationships.
In addition to covering a variety of topics of interest
to anyone interested in polyamory, Nearing's book (as one might
expect from the title) provides a lot of information more
specifically targeted at polyfides, such as co-parenting,
sharing of finances, and living powers of attorney (to provide
for medical emergencies and the like).
Loving More is a deceptively small book, weighing in at
less than one
hundred pages. While small, Ryam manages to provide lots of
clear, practical advice into the book, and I believe that
the size contributes to the very approachable nature of the
book. All in all, this book would be an excellent first read for
people considering trying to arrange any sort of polyamorous
arrangement that invovled living together.
In Lesbian Polyfidelity, Celeste West
has attempted to create a book about polyamory aimed
at the Lesbian (and bisexual) women. (The parentheses
are hers, not mine.) She certainly has succeeded there,
and had produced an interesting, thoughtful, and thought-provoking
For one thing, this is one of the most complex and literate
books I've read relating to polyamory. In addition to large
doses of well-written practical advice, West also delves into
the relationship of polyamory to evolutionary biology, feminist
theory, and puts its practice into historical context.
Unfortunately, I believe that
West does herself a disservice in a way of using
the term polyfidelity to refer to the state of "being in
ongoing erotic intimacy with more than one woman concurrently,
while being honest about such involvements..." Since
this is a somewhat broader definition of the word polyfidelity than
is normally used, I suspect some potential readers will turn away
from this book before giving it a chance, thinking that they aren't
necessarily interested in (say) a group living situation.
I do have a warning about the
book. West makes a very small number of statements which,
despite my attempts to read them as humor (and she does have a
wonderful, wicked sense of humor), come off to me as bigoted.
Male (and heterosexual female) readers who
aren't versed in
feminist theory may get a kick in the pants here and there.
If you can handle that (or, as in my case, even enjoy that)
and want to read an otherwise excellent
book, dive in, if you are a more sensitive soul, you may wish to