Polyamory-Related Books

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Coming Out Poly

Unfortunately, there are no books specific to coming out as polyamorous. Both of the titles in our Basic Bookshelf do cover the topic and will probably be sufficient for many people. However, others may wish to consider reading some of the better books people have written about coming out as gay or lesbian, I've listed a couple that I've read here. The issues aren't identical, they're different in many ways, but still, there's a lot to learn here!


Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends and Coworkers

Michelangelo Signorile
Forward by Betty Berzon, Ph.D.
Random House

Outing Yourself is a simple, straightforward, step-by-step manual for coming out, covering everything from the early issues of self-acceptance to presentation issues and issues of coming out to family and in the workplace.

By presenting the issues in a simple step-by-step manner, Michelangelo provides a path that makes the process easier, providing for a more comfortable process along the way.

One issue that some readers may have is that Michelangelo does seem to have the opinion that (in the end) you will be happiest having come out to your family and your coworkers. While I believe that is often, perhaps almost always the case, I have known gay, lesbian, bi and poly folk who are comfortable with their lives being someone less than completely out. I think everyone needs to judge the costs and benefits of coming out for themselves.

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Out in the Workplace: The Pleasures and Perils of Coming Out on the Job

Richard A. Rasi, D.Min.
Lourdes Rodriguez-Nogues, Ed.D.
Alyson Publications

Out in the Workplace largely consists of stories of people coming out in their workplaces as gay, Lesbian, and occasionally bisexual, covering a wide variety of experiences, both positive and negative, in a wide variety of settings.

While the greatest value of the book is the breadth and general level of honesty each of the stories reflects, there are also a couple of sections worth mentioning in particular.

One set of chapters deals with the stories of five different people coming out at the Bank of Boston. I found the range of different perspectives quite interesting.

Congressman Barney Frank of Massachusetts also provides a chapter, which in addition to being interesting on its own terms, was also interesting in that his experiences and issues coming out in the Congress aren't as different as I might have (unthinkingly) expected.

In addition to coming out stories, the book Also includes a chapter providing an overview of what legal protections are available for gay, Lesbian and bisexual people in the workplace.

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